Slack Tart that I am!

ellooooooo

I’ve been a slack tart I know I knoooooow! I just read a forum I’m doodling about on and someone said they use to like my blog and I thought “Lucy you lazy cow, get it together!”

So to the adventures of Lucy in her new job…. hmm well Brisbane is SUPER HOT and I love it. One of my favorite mottos in life has always been “the sweatier the wetter the better”. It’s one of the reasons I love latex so much… yummy sweaty mess all sliding around on the inside. I’ve always actually imagined it feels like it would if you went to one of those Asian establishments where they give you a wet soapy massage. Would be like walking in, choosing 6 gorgeous ladies and getting them to soap you up and massage you all at once… except the noise. I was told by a serious punter once who use to like punting in Asia (and everywhere for that matter), that the worst part of seeing 3+ ladies at once was the noise and he spent the entire time trying to keep them on opposite sides of the room so they couldn’t talk to each other.

Anyhooo so yus Brisbane is HOT! Hmmm oooow and everyone waits at the traffic lights to cross the road!! AND the shops all close at 6pm!! 6pm!! I’m someone who functions better at night so 6pm for me is a stretch so I’m living on those Chomp chocolate bars and macaroni and cheese snack packs.

I tend to say the wrong thing alot here as well – people don’t seem to look at me in Brisbane and go “aaaw aint she a cute little space cadet” like they do in Sydney, people here look at me and go “WEIRDO”. For example… I just went to Night Owl (they have them instead of 7/11) and the guy had a tattoo. It looked like a bug to me so I asked him what kind of bug he had on his arm. Apparently it was Ned Kelly not a bug and I was told to think before I opened my mouth. Can you believe that?!?! Me think before I open my mouth!! Will never happen. As for the bug thing.. mental note to ones self… men don’t get bug tattoos so don’t say that again, it makes them feel unsexy. Mind you, I do know a girl who has a giant scabie tattooed onto her back, but that’s a long story. I had to spend a whole 3 minutes digging myself out of that particular pile of pooh – the guns looked like bugs arms – not guns.. pfft wasn’t my fault.

I had to go and buy new sheets and towels when I got here and I went to the happy house wife shop ‘Adairs’. I like it there because they gave me a $10 gift voucher for singing the National Anthem on Australia Day – hell I even joined the club I was that happy. I always go in and ask to speak to a mother when I need help because mothers know best. So I was standing there asking this mother shop assistant what sheets she would buy if she did therapeutic massage (that was my cover story when I said I get oil all over my sheets so I need to know which thread count was best for washing out oil). She’s standing there saying to me “well dear it really does depend on your turn over and how many people you plan to have in and out of your bed”.  Couldn’t stop laughing – she thought I was a wanker hehehee.

Everywhere I go I’m having the trippy conversations here!

Oh and Australia Post here is a completely different experience – they are super heros. Your mail comes straight away! Takes me 3 days to get a letter to go 4 blocks away in Sydney, but here the Post Man comes with a new letter every single day! Most impressed with Australia Post here.

Not impressed with the debt collectors here though – the guy who use to live here went a tad mad and got into a spot of bother so I have debt collectors coming to my door. They would have to be the most aggrevating, non friendly, non helpful, non believing people in the world. One of them wanted to come into my unit to check for mens clothes in my wardrobe to verify my story that the indebted guy wasn’t living here. Lucky I didn’t have a man tied to my bed at the time! Oh and the unit was furnished with a bed and accompanying wildlife so I was covered in bed bugs the frst 2 days I was here so I had itchy blisters all over me. Luckily a lady was horrified (she was convinced the dude died on my bed and it was cursed) and she drove all the way to Cairns to get me a new free bed.

Hmm oooow and the ladies in Brisbane are absolutely LOVELY! I’m actually really shocked in Brisbane at the difference in the industry. It’s like Sydney use to be 12 – 14 years ago. I’m extremely lucky in that I was adopted by one lady, who then introduced me to some other ladies and just because she said I was lovely, I have all of these ladies treating me like family. I mean literally like FAMILY! Nothing is to much effort, nothing is a silly question, nothing is a no, they are just all spectacular. I’ve never had anyone be lovely to me before (besides certain gents and I trick them into thinking I’m lovely hehee) so I’m quite spun out by it all. People up here actually want to be your friend!

I’m also most excited because the ladies have told me they’ve read my wiki which makes me very excited One gorgeous creature even bought me a bunch of flowers and some yummy drink I scoffed straight away as a thank you – CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT??!?! How lovely is that?!?!? I almost died. It’s like you exist here and people actually take the time to tell you that you exist in their lives.

The ladies up here are all very stunning in a really effortless way. That’s alright but because just means I have the old slack tart market cornered heheeee. I walk down the street thinking…. phhhwwwwooooooar wish I looked like her! Ooow and I went to a strip club with some ladies for a night out and I think I’ve decided to be a stripper or erotic dancer or whatever the PC term is. I feel like I’m overseas and no-one knows me so I’m now able to stand on top of the tables and dance around like a mental and I don’t even have to be drunk to get away with it. I’m a little bit scared though because the fake boobs call me when I look at them even though I don’t want them. However I’m a believer in ‘if you’re going to do something thrash it”, so I know I’d get them – kind of like if you’re a hooker you get a website, if you’re a stripper you get boobs! yup

Ooow the Zumba TV Demtel TV commercial is on! BRB I gotta go Zumbaaaaaaa……..

my butt is going to get toned and I’m really going to spice up my life! I’m going to get the DVDs and everything in my life really will become positive! I’m going to lose 27 pounds in 2 months! (however much that is) . Let’s Zumba baby!

The straight job is going really well I wish I could tell you all about it because I have the bestest job in the Universe and you’d all find it absolutely fascinating, but I’m not allowed But it’s absolutely brilliant!

Oooow and I’ve got the ugliest tan lines EVER! Can you believe that?! ME WITH A TAN and not a red tan from having my butt slapped!!  I’d put up a picture, but my 3 week old computer decided to die so I can’t photoshop it down to a manageable size, so you’ll have to wait until Mr DHL brings it back then I’ll put up a pic.

Anyhooo I have to be up and functional in 3 hours so best I go and be sleepy. Promise to blog more often and stuff and yup pictue ASAP.

Hope you’re all doing super well and are happy and bonking lots of lovely woman!

Mmwaah!

IGP

ps. oh and I have a new website but I’ve forgotten the url for it. My website is illegal in Qld so I had to put a new one together. When I remember the url, I’ll let you know.

night night

Lucy is Leaving Sydney

Hi Everyone,

Well this week I went for an  interview for a job I never thought I’d get and I got it! The job is based in Queensland so I’m moving up there for the duration of the 6 month contract (if I come back at all).

I kind of applied for it because I was bored at 4am when I couldn’t sleep one day and did it to pass the time and never thought I’d actually get it.  It’s kind of one of those jobs you wish you could one day get and I certainly never thought I could talk anyone into giving it to me.

Anyhooo the last day I will be available in Sydney will be the 10th January at this stage.  That’s not finalised, but that’s probably the date I’ll be aiming for because i have to pack up my life and store it before I leave which will take some time.

I wont be taking any time off over Christmas or New Year, so if you feel like you haven’t LIVED until you’ve had the Lucy Blake Experience (Gawd that’s wanky), then best you give me a call or send me an email – I have storage to pay for blaaargh

I’ll spew forth some more stuff when I’m in the moooood.. not now but

Lucy

Sometimes it’s so boring being a hooker..

Do you ever get the feeling your wasting your time / life? Today I sat and watched Morty the Fly climbing the wall … doing nothing is evil in my opinion so it kills me to spend all day talking to Morty time wasting. The tedium of…

Phone rings… (Smurf ringtone)

Him: “Hi Lucy, what are you doing?”

Lucy: “aaaah watching a fly crawl up the wall”

Him: “oh sounds very horny”

Lucy: “how can I help you?”

Him: “I’m sitting in my bedroom in my red bath robe”

Lucy: “Oh I see. Did you ring to make an appointment”

Him: “I rang because I’m in my red bathrobe in my bedroom”

Lucy: “well Mummy Lucy says get dressed and go outside and get some sunshine”

Lucy: hangs up

… then we (the fly and I) had 4 people call to ask me all manner of “is ya c**t waxed and how much is it worth? I can’t tell because my friend gave me your phone number and I don’t know how to use the internet so can’t see what you look like, how much you charge and what you do”. YAWN!

… La la la la la aaaaa la la lalaa laaaaa (Smurf ring tone)

Lucy: “hello”

Him: “hi is this Lucy”

Lucy: “mostly”

Him: “is your c**t shaved”

Lucy: “no it’s waxed”

Him: “so it’s nice and smooth then?”

Lucy: “that’s why they charge me the big dollars and I pass the expense onto you in my very reasonable rate”

Him: “nice”

Lucy: “only if you smile sweetly”

Him: “so what’s your rate and what do you do”

Lucy: “Well today I’m running a special which means for today my rate is set at a very reasonable rate. It is the very special reasonable rate day. I do all manner of things. Were you after anything in particular?”

Him: “yerr I was told you do fetish?”

Lucy: “yup what is your fetish?”

Him: “I’d like a blow job”

Lucy: “and the fetishy way you’d like that done? As in what’s the fetish element?”

Him: “do you do it without a condom?”

Lucy: “so you want to have sex is that what you’re saying?”

Him: “yes, but my wife wont give me a blow job”

Lucy: “have you tried buying a diamond”

Him: “naaah she aint worth it”

Lucy: “well then buy the diamond, give it to her and think of it as a gift for your penis and putting a dollar value on a blowjob instead of thinking of your wife as a prostitute and putting a dollar value on her”.

Him: “yerrr that’d work”

Lucy: “Anything else darling”

Him: “naaah I’ll buy her some flowers and call you back and let you know how it worked”

Lucy: “splendid darling, have a lovely day”

Him: “yerr thanks Lucy, you have a good one too”

Lucy… AAAARGGGGHHH!

I swear on Morty’s dead little bootie I am getting several recommendations a day from people’s friends none of whom know how to use the internet all inquiring if my poor little bagina has been tortured to bits by the dreaded wax!

Can we say TIME WASTER?! Yup some days the Universe plots and plans to make sure you have a time wastering away kind of day! I had a friend who died a week ago today of cancer and she was only 2 years older than me. She fought to be alive, fought to live life… sitting around not living it… god it drives me nuts with the waste!

Hope yours was betterer!

Lucy

Lucy special very reasonable rates day!

I met the coolest Police Man today!

I met the coolest Police Officer today! Not something you’d probably think you’d ever hear a sex worker say, but I actually think they are pretty cool.

I use to work somewhere that worked with Police to train them about sex workers.  98% of them would walk out of the training still thinking “dirty slags”, but 2% you could see really got it. One of the things we did with them was show them that sex workers and Police are pretty much in the same boat. We’d get the sex workers who came along to write down all of the issues they faced as sex workers and the Police to do the same. It always turned out we had the same stuff in common like

• When you go out with friends, you could never tell them what was happening in a major chunk of your life

• Never seemed to be able to really connect with anyone but your collegues and other people would get intimidate by your personality/presence, so you pretend to be someone else

• Always feel like an outsider

• Never tell anyone what you do for a living if you go to a party or a bar

• If  people found out what you do for a living they’d ask stoopid questions or not talk to you

Basically Police and Sex Workers always feel like they have to hide in case someone finds out what they are and what they do…. I believe the words “judegement” and “stereotype” were common themes.

So anyhoooo I find I always get on quite well with the Police – they have the same sense of humour and way of looking at the world which I find comfortable.

Soooo anyhoo, I was at this beach and these men were standing in the trees jacking off. I was ok with that until I realised it wasn’t a beat (where men go to have sex with men), they were standing there jerking off looking at me and other woman walking by.  I thought about it for a while thinking “whats the harm?”, then I thought “the bloody harm is they pissed me off!”. So I called the Police and one came out to catch them. Of course they never get anywhere on time, so we had a chat instead (me and the Police man that is, not the jerk offs).

I told him I didn’t mind they were doing it until I realised it wasn’t a beat and he told me the beat was 20 metres up the beach. He said I sounded outraged and I explained it pissed me off people would think it’s ok to take advantage of me walking past and jerking off at my expense. He said I sounded like a sex worker and then I flew into defensive mode, told him I was and got ready to give him the sex worker liaison training. Turns out he didn’t need it and was super cool! We talked about beats, their pros and cons and my goal to establish them when I become Premier of NSW, current regulation of the Sex Industry, where to get the best strawberry and mango ice cream… was a very rewarding conversation.

Anyhooo I’ve decided not to go near beaches anymore because they are full of annoying pervy weirdos, but next time you see a Police Officer, I encourage you to smile sweetly and be super cool because they’re just like hookers and we love hookers

Anyhoooo night night

Lucy

Men who don’t have sex with sex workers…

are the cleverest STOOPID people ever!

Look at the bad sex issues that have happened recently..

Policitians – they NEVER have sex with sex workers, not ever. What was that politicians name who was caught bonking that girl on his desk 6 months back? Goanna something or other… you know the one?! Life would have been so much lovelier for him if politicians just paid for it!

Tiger Woods – I mean SERIOUSLY for an intelligent man, what was he thinking not paying for it?!

I reckon sex workers are given a rough deal. Sex workers could bring the world economies to their knees if they were to open their mouths. Sex workers on a daily basis prove their worth and trust worthyness by being discreet, not holding press conferences, not keeping raunchy text messages to be sold at a later date etc. There are millions of sex workers all over the world, bonking men who collect garbage, BIG BIG BIIIIIIIG SHOT business men, Mafia… literally the world would come to a stand still if not an end, if even 2% of sex workers decided to open their mouths. We have a proven track record of being lovely.

STILL all over the world we are hated, we are illegal, we are ridiculed, guys take their watches off before they go into a brothel or an independent workers apartment (we thieve Swatch watches apparently)… hell the NSW regulations they are trying to bring in to regulate us are Melbourne style draconian to say the least.

God this world is a head fuck of monumental proportions!

bloody hell..  would have been cheaper for Tiger to pay an hourly rate for his wife and each Mistress as sex workers even though they’d be very expensive hookers looking the way they do. My first ever boyfriend showed me how to do the math on that. He stood in the kitchen with a pen and pad and told me how much his wife’s hourly rate would have been over 6 years, in comparison to my hourly rate and said she was way over priced and she ripped him off. He was a very smart stupid man as well – well clearly… he let this little hooker go and married a new normal woman!! Can we say BANGING OUT HEAD AGAINST A BRICK WALL?!

I’d just like to encourage you all to pick up the phone and call your favorite hooker today…. SAVE YOURSELF GENTLEMEN!

Mmwaah and loads of bonks for you all (just between you and I of course!)

Lucy

Roving hooker thoughts

I just wanted to start by saying PJ thank you so much for your comment on my last blog – you made me laugh and laugh which I certainly needed to do.  Which brings me to needing to say sorry to everyone who has been sending me emails and calling, but I have had the last few weeks off because I’ve been a little bit sick, but I’m all fixed up now so allll good.

So what does a Lucy Blake do when she is out of action? She looks after Chester! Things I have noticed….

• Chester is a male – the peeeenis kind of gave it away, but male dogs really are male!

• Chester likes to watch me in the shower – I have to jump out in the middle of the shower, pick him up and turn him upside down to make sure he doesn’t have a boy erection going on because that would be creepy and then he’d have to go and live somewhere else

• Chester is a slut – Chester LOVES woman, he absolutely cannot help himself, gets himself in serious trouble chasing them, will sacrifice his existence to be able to be in the arms of one (think Tiger Woods)

• Chester makes me sound like a dorky serial killer – because of his need to flirt with random woman, I walk down the street constantly saying “I’m sorry he likes woman”. I mean that’s not even a serial killer intro, that’s a dorky lesbian serial killer pick up line!

• Chester LOVES sex workers – I live in an area (for only the next little while) that has a LARGE concentration of sex workers. He sees them walking down the street and does his dorky lesbian serial killer tool B Line towards them. They of course all want to pick him up and squish him feeding his tool ego

• Chester LOVES brothels – he walks up to all of their doors, plants his arse down, puts his trotters in a snow plough position so you have to drag him along the street giving his butt hole some serious gravel rash issues to move him along. He doesn’t like the male brothel though

• Chester does not like men at all … period

• Chesters preference for woman is BBW of a mature age and he likes them looking unfancified. If he was a punter, he would not punt at Stilletoe, he’d be an Amanda Heaven’s kind of dude

• Chester likes to watch – like the shower thing .. TOTALLY CREEPY!

• Chester does not listen to me – typical male

• Chester does this cute thing when he’s in trouble or wants something, but when I’m pissed at him, he does the whole blah blah bored now, blah blah, might chew my arse now blah blah… oh look she’s finished, I’ll look cute again now

• Chester has to try and piss higher up every wall than any other boy dog that has been there

Things that occur to me while walking Chester….

I walk through this big park that use to be a beat (place where men go to have sex with men in public places) until all of these people got murdered so all the men stopped using it. It’s turning back into a beat which I don’t mind at all, BUT because it’s not an established beat, you don’t know if the guys in the park are there for the beat or there for raping the woman. When I become Premier of NSW (let’s face it, they’re letting any whack job have a go these days), I’m going to legalise sex in public and get Mardi Gras  and Work Cover to regulate beats. Then we will have designated parks woman can walk thru without being scared of the men in it at 2am because they know the guys in the shadows are there to bonk men, not rape woman!

There is this brothel that has this MASSIVE sign above it saying “MOVING BOXES FOR RENT”… tasteless heheee. Every time I see it I think of when I use to work for the massage parlor at Eastwood. It’s on top of the butcher shop and at the stairs you walk up to get in, there is a flag saying “MEAT MARKET”.

There is a high concentration of weirdo’s in 24 hour cafe’s at 3am for sex workers to toy with. I had this massive conversation with this guy who was doing what I thought was Yoga out the front of a cafe while he drank tea. He tried to pat Chester and Chester wasn’t having a bar of that while he was doing yoga so I instructed him to stop. He greeted me with a Vulcan greeting and told me he was not doing yoga he was doing Klingon battle practice patterns. I told him if he was going to spin it to hide the fact he hadn’t come down from the LSD he took 3 years ago, then he should at least get the “Live Long and Prosper” line correct, because it’s not “Peace and Goodwill to All Men”. He was a really interesting guy but! Turns out he didn’t have an issue with LSD from 3 years ago which was stuffing up his Vulcan logic, it’s because he is a Dive Master in Papua New Guinea where they don’t fill the air tanks with the good keep your brain functioning stuff. Well that was his story anyway and he was sticking to it.

Had this big think about sex work. All the street based sex workers know the make and model of Chester. Everyone else guesses the wrong make and model, but the street based girls get it right. Feel ashamed it shocks me everytime and feel sad because they use to have lives. To know the type of dog Chester is, they must have grown up with one… maybe they use to run in the park with one and smooch one and have one when living at home with their parents. Maybe they use to have happy lives without Managers, minders and pimps. Makes me sad they don’t have a Chester anymore, they just have knowledge of what it is to have loved and lost. Anyone who says it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, clearly wasn’t a hooker. Oh gawd how melodramatic of me … vomit

Anyhooo better go and stuff….

Mmwaah!

Lucy

Who new?!

I fed my dooogie bacon and now I’m petrified he is going to die.  My mum calls me every day to tell me I’m going to kill him. She lists all the new ways she has come up with that I am irresponsible and can potentially kill anything breathing in my presence (and she hasn’t even seen my website so has NO IDEA what I’m really capable of).

I dialed into a conversation with my bestest smarter than me friend and keeps things alive in general person and this is how it goes….

DumbDumb says:

hope bacon doesnt give CHester runny poohs

Girlfiend says:

shes an indoors pig

hmm um it might

DumbDumb says:

dont say that!!

I panic

I google

Girlfriend says:

u have to teach him to crap on the bluey

its very oily

make slippery poohs

DumbDumb says:

oh shit yerr

Girlfriend says:

and rich

too much salt too

DumbDumb says:

ok I feel bad now

I killing my dog like my mum says

Girlfriend says:

was a treat

DumbDumb says:

did you know there is a site called www.dogdiarrhea.org/

Girlfriend says:

oh um nice

DumbDumb says:

there is an organisation set up for dog shit

Girlfriend says:

haha

why do you know this shit

DumbDumb says:

frig I know Im going to kill him

Girlfriend says:

you’re not

DumbDumb says:

he is looking at me

Girlfriend says:

just give him plenty water and crunchies

no soft food for cpl days

DumbDumb says:

shit he’s looking at me and just standing there

staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaring at me

with eyes

he’s got eyes he looks at me with

Girlfriend says:

yup thats what they there for

Yerrrrs these are the intellectual fascinating conversations hookers have with each other at 1am while they are making banners and gossiping! Bet you all thought we talked about manicures, lingerie and the latest orgasm we had! We then went onto discuss being banned from forums and my inability to be bothered to go to the effort to log on let alone participate to get banned; falsifying documentation so my mother would think I actually went for a bank loan and was turned down (she wants me to get a loan, but my lies kind of make me sound like I could get one – I cant tell her I am a hooker and I don’t give myself group certificates to show the bank) and a myriad of other equally ridiculous topics.

Ever noticed how you say the think you’re talking about without meaning to when you’re having a conversation? Like the word “shit” was mentioned 5 times without actually being directly related to runny pooh’s in the above convo! Kind of like if you’re seeing a really young guy and you call him “boy” ie. “on your back boy”, or “what would your mother think if she saw you with that in your bottom?!”.  You may call lots of your clients “boy” as a term of endearment ie. ‘oh you’re such a lovely boy I just want to smooch you forever’, but if a young guy walks thru the door you make a conscious decision not to say it so he isn’t uncomfortable. BUT of course you call him ‘boy’ and ask him what his mother would think at least 20 times in that booking because your trying not to talk about it, so you say it more.

Oh god Im insane.

Anyhoooo happy to report everything is allllll good in Lucy Land. I’ve been building a website for someone else, but it means I’ve been neglecting my own website. I’ve had an AWESOME idea for it, now I just have to get busy and do it. Actually I have to get busy and do a few things on it. Takes soooooo much fiddle farting around effort to do this stuff.

I’ve been doing the most excellent adventures lately as well – for the first time in my life, I’m actually LOVING doing what I’m doing. I’ve been wearing my latex and boots and been doing the absolutely coolest things in bookings! Since I changed the wording on my website, I am getting the most interesting, coolest adventures and emails. I got to put on my latex dress and boots for the first time in forever last week. I LOVE LATEX! I LOVE LIFE! Strangely though, apart from hardcore gents escaping dungeons, I’m also getting emails from gents new to the industry. It’s always baffled me why someone who is new to this side of life, would want to see me. I think I’m mental and not for the feint hearted, so why someone who is lovely would want to see me has always escaped me.

Interesting fact… did you know that when girls get breast implants, if they have large rib cages, they’re boobs will move further apart in slippage and that’s why some ladies have a bigger gap in between their boobs? yup!

Depressing fact… Gough Whitlam our Fearless Leader was a member of St Paul’s at Sydney Uni. When the pooh hit the fan this week in the media, I had a look at their website to see what the fuss was all about and there it was… past students included GOUGH WHITLAM! I managed to spin it all around though and made him a hero for attending so all good Their website is infuriating to say the least.

Anyway Chester keeps looking at me so best I run away.

You all have weet weams and I shall do my website stuff tomorrow so hopefully cool things to report!

Weee!

Lucy

Intergalactical International Presents!

Guess what, guess what?!?!

I got some presents…..

Snowdome Presents from far far away for meeeeee! all for meeeeee!

I am lucky enough to have people who send me gifts while they are adventuring around the planet and today these ones arrived in the mail! I luuuurve getting gifts in the mail It’s so lovely someone is thinking of you from the other side of the planet. I love the thought of someone being in some far away place, seeing something silly and thinking “aaaaw that is so tacky that Lucy would love that, best I get it for her”.  THEN I get to open a box in the mail!!

Everything good comes in boxes in the mail. Shiiiiny PVC thigh high 12 inch stiletto boots, body stockings, Jimmy Choo shoes and SNOWDOMES!! It’s like you get the little come fetch me notice in the letter box and then your heart starts pounding because you know your day is about to get happy! I’ll sit with the letter box notice allll day and think about what the prize could be and then get it in the afternoon.

Anyhoooo here are my latest prizes from the other side of the planet.

THANK YOU!! I LOVE THEM!

Mmwaah!

Lucy

Changed my mind…

I’m now in loooove with Peter the Fungal Scientist from Beauty and the Geek.  I caught a glimpse of FUNGAL MAN when I dropped my laptop and he is keeeeewt! Unfortunately though, there is something about being in luuuurve with a Fungal Scientist that sounds beyond geeky to trippy, so I’ll probably never be able to bonk him for free Hahahaa I made a funny!!… get it …. there’s something trippy about a fungas man… get it get it?!?! magic mushrooms are fungas!! … ooook I leave that one alone now.

In other news… I’m just back from a week away with the family, so yerrrrs I’m now NUTS! I find it infinitely disturbing how I’m the sane one.  There were tantrums, fighting, swearing, stomping of the tootsies, rolling of the eyes by all of them. I just sat quietly and played for a week with the 5 year olds and had a truly excellent time. I hadn’t jumped on a trampoline and then fell asleep since I was 12 and jigging high school! I don’t know what it is when you get older, but your brain seems to thud around your skull a lot more and hurts when it hits the sides. Still it was FUN! Hmmm and I played sticker books, painted cups and plates, made hats for Melbourne Cup and had a tea party with Baby Born quadruplets (what is it with dolls looking like zombies?!). Then we painted the walls (and got in trouble, but my niece is so PC and such a goodie goodie Country Road pink fairy child, I feel it’s my role to corrupt her into being a normal child), and then we had a pom pom tree pom pom flower fight and then we caught slugs and made a slug house for them. All in all I had a most excellent time as long as I wasn’t around the weirdo’s. Ooow and we got thrown out of the local pool because I taught them how to do bombs and belly flops in the pool and apparently having fun isn’t allowed.

It never fails to shock me about how much they choose not to know about my life out loud, but secretly know everything. They went on and on at me about how being a welfare worker sucks …. “I can’t believe my tax dollars have to pay for a boat load of Asians to sit on cruise ships before Australia delivers them to an island for a holiday and then we grant them assylum so they can sit on their arses for the rest of their lives on a pension in Australia and then I have to pay your wages to pander to them”… I mean SERIOUSLY WHO THINKS ABOUT BOAT PEOPLE AND WHAT THEY GO THRU LIKE THAT?!?!?!” So when I get over listening to their shite I tell them “Look I am no longer a welfare worker so don’t talk to me about it”. Then I get the “well we run a business and there’s no way you could run a business or even have any idea what’s involved so you have to remain a welfare worker”, to which I respond “I could run your itty bitty business with my hands tied behind my back whilst blindfolded”. Then the room goes silent for 20 MINUTES! Yup… they know heheheeee. Hmmm maybe I shouldn’t have used the blindfolded tied down in the sentence – damaged them for life maybe.

Hmmm what else on the Lucy update?… ooow I know… I’ll show you a pic of the new stand in child I apparently have to have. I’ve called him Chewie Chester Wookie Blake.

Chewie comes from Blacktown Pound and I encourage everyone to pop along to their local pound and pick someone up to love – they were going to MURDER HIM an hour after he was picked if he wasn’t picked! THEY WERE GOING TO MURDER CHEWIE!! So quick quick everyone go get an addition to the family.

ANyhooo that’s where I’ve been.. missing in action. I’m baaaaack now but and really excited to be back. I’ve been having the best times since I have left welfare and really looking forward to having more best times. Once again thank you sooo much for the lovely lovely people who have been leaving comments on my blogs and for the lovely people who have been sending me emails after reading something on the other site I have http://www.australian-escort-info.com . Some people have been sending me really touching stories about their experiences and how reading the wiki has been of assistance or sending me suggestions. BUT to the gents who have been leaving comments on this blog… you have no idea how much it means to me that you take the time and effort to do it. You have made me smile and laugh and feel wonderful

Anyhooo you take care of you and I’ll catch you all in a flash with some new silly stuff!

Lucy

 

Lucky Day!

Hiya Everybody!

I just wanted to start by saying a MASSIVE thank you to the lovely people who leave comments on my blog. Its a stomach turning exercise blogging if you’re in my line of work because you worry about if you’re giving to much away, destroying your marketing, being to personal, being to honest, being offensive etc etc. They can take a bit of time to write as well, so when people leave a comment it really is very lovely. I’m also lucky in that people who leave comments do spend time thinking about what they want to say and their comments are always really relevant and make me think and reflect a lot which makes me grow as a person – ycuk did I just say that?! SOOOOAPY! true but

Soooo to the Lucky Blog!! Let me start by giving you a pic of me in my lucky socks…

Yerrrrs feeling like it’s time to pull out all stops, take no chances and pull my lucky cat socks up!

Why?

Well today my sister was going into hospital to have her baby and she had a little boy Of course I like girls because you can do better shopping for girls, but I don’t have any money anyway so I love I having a new nephew except of course the lectures I get about how I am getting to old to have babies and I better have one tomorrow blah blaaaah

Ooow and on Friday I quit my straight job! Yup that’s right I QUIT! My boss said some awwwwwful things to me in “supervision” which is just a code word for “fuck with your head session”, so I thought about it over night and went back in the next morning and QUIT! Her parting words to me were “I hope you reflect on what I have said to you and can change your life”. My parting words were “heheheeee”.

Oooow and I’m halfway through my Business Management Diploma as of today and I received my results  for the first half of my course and I have all Distinctions except 1 credit I wish I could apply myself to being bored for an entire 3 years and then I could have a whole degree instead of multiple diploma’s. I can’t seem to get past the 18 month boredom thresh hold. Now I’ve got my lucky socks on, I’m hoping that may change

Oooow and I’ve been working on my wiki all day/night/day/night/day/night and learnt about all this stuff I could do if I only could work out how…. yeaaay for the lucky socks… I’m sure getting it is just around the corner

Oooow and I’m in luuuuuuuuuuurve!! Can you tell?!?!? I finally found a boy I could imagine being completely unprofessional with and actually bonking him for the first hour for freeeeeee!! His name is Matt…  fortunately for my professionalism he is on the other side of the planet so I never will have to bonk him heheee. Incidentally he is the guy who invented WordPress. I don’t know why I find geeky guys so gawd darn sexy.  Blimey I hope he doesn’t kick me off WordPress for calling him geeky… I did call him sexy as well but so hopefully they cancel each other out.

Ooow and today I was walking past a toy shop and I went in to touch everything. Here’s me dressed as an Intergalactical Princess…..

The boy who works in the toy shop I made take the picture for me was mortified I made him stand there and do it. That made me want to embarrass him more of course, so I have about 50 of them.

Sooo anyhooo that’s about that for today. I am updating my website with a few new ideas and ripping down some pages over the next few days, oh and of course the availability shall change because I’m no longer a prisoner of DOOM at the straight job. I’ll try and get to that tomorrow but and update here when it’s done.

You all take care and if you have a pair of lucky socks… PUT ‘EM ON!

Weeeeee!

Lucy