Lucy Blake's Weblog

January 26, 2012, 1:41 am
Filed under: Uncategorized


Long time no speak! Have you missed me as wide as the ocean? As grand as a canyon? As maginificent as a chocolate brownie? Sure you have. HA!

OK so not going to give a “this is your liiiiife” update because I couldn’t be bothered. Rather this evening I’m going to rant just for a change 😉

I just had dinner with the most awesome person in the world…. Tilly Cupcakes!!

I invited this boy I’ve been “dating” because that’s the convention so I’ve been told. Mental note to one’s self: WE ARE NEVER CONVENTIONAL. IT DOES NOT WORK FOR US. STOP IT!

I have missed Miss Tilly every day since I’ve been gone. She’s such a space cadet with a heart as big as the universe. She is so sweet she spins me out a little. Actually she’s exactly like a cupcake. OMG we named her appropriately and we didn’t even name her cupcake because she’s a cupcake! Anyway, I digress into the world of my brain. Let me get back to reality….

So we went out to dinner and this dude I’m with he was really rude 😦 He acted like a fucking Liberal Party politician. All fucking stitched up and smart arsey and non communicative unless it’s to dodge a question so no secrets are revealed (apparently telling someone where you work or what you do for a living is top secret even if it’s not ASIO).

He has this really weird affliction where the tone of his voice changes if he’s in a suit. Words he uses changes, he won’t walk next to me (actually prefers I walk on the other side of the street or  steps behind him like I’m a Muslim) let alone hold hands with me in public; he says these evil smart arsey things, won’t open doors or wait for me…. I FUCKING HATE IT! I asked him last time he treated me like a leppar in public while he had a suit on why he was being such a crap person. He said that it is not correct ettiquete to be seen holding a girls hand in public if you’re wearing a suit. Now I’m a welfare worker and a hooker so I’ve heard every lie, bullshit, twaddle sequence of words in the world and NEVER had I heard THAT!

He also punishes me in suits… I get THE SILENT TREATMENT! You can imagine how that sits with me.

I was bouncing around being me the other day and he told me I was silly and it was too much. He actually looked really pained! Apparently I need to grow up.

What do you mean grow up?!

 I’m already grown up!

I mean in all seriousness, does me being me really come as a suprise to ANYONE?!

So I’ve decided to swear off men in suits.


Or another niffty option the “Anal Intruder” of course.

I am completely and utterly incapable of being serious at all times. If you made me sit on a chair and be serious, I’d chew my own arse off so I didn’t have to sit there anymore.

I’m really sad because Tilly came so far to see me and I’ve missed her for ever and people have been giving her a hard time in hooker land so I just wanted her to have a wonderful night and ICKY SUIT MAN BEAT HIM WITH A STICK, was nasty. The first friend I’ve seen since I’ve been here and he wrecked it.

He was supposed to come back to my house for an overnighter (once a hooker always a hooker… hang on, I’m still being a hooker! As Teacup says “I’m a hoe with a whip”) but he got to the car and turned around and said “It’s your fault I don’t like your friend. You talk to much so I couldn’t get a word in and you told me not to ask questions”. BEAT THE ICKY MAN IN A SUIT WITH A STICK!

Anyway, if you wear a suit, get your arse down to Mexico AND I’LL BEAT IT WITH A STICK!

Lucy and Lux – both me you see


10 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hi Lucy,

If it is worth waiting for then it must be good.

Nice to see that smile

Comment by Col

Hello lovely Col

You make me smile 🙂

Thank you

Comment by Lucy Blake

YOUR BACK! I missed your blogs!
I totally agree.. suitmen are not for hookers..
i dated one.. but it was 5yrs ago and i was an undercover hooker then.. he didnt know i was a worker… and even then i was too “weird” for him. Had he known what i was doing lmao i dread to think.

nope us special gals, we need a special guy.. and suits are just too cookie cutter..

Dont stop blogging!

mwah xxxx

Comment by huntress78


I’ve missed you too! HOW ARE YOU?! God I hope only the best things in life are shining down on you gorgeous woman 🙂

Hmmm we should call your ex and tell him. It works just as well to horrify them even when you’ve broken up with them!

Ooow we could share some laughs you and I PMSL.

Thanks for leaving me a comment Holly. It means a lot to me 🙂

Comment by Lucy Blake

I don’t wear a suit, but can I still drop in anyway? I do look rather odd in kangaroo (?) ears, but.

Comment by Comet

Comet, I’d be more than excited to session with you … me in the bear ears and you in a latex hood.. hmm or a wig… hmm or a gas mask… see plenty of head wearing options in case yours comes off!

Beary big hugs!


Comment by Lucy Blake

Good to see you back, in form too!

I wear a suit and the anal intruder option is the one I would go for.

Comment by David

Aww David as I say in the dungeon “your comfort means everything to me”… I’d be happy to go the anal intruder option with you 😉

Mwha! hehee

Comment by Lucy Blake

Sorry to hear he turned out to be a dick but better you know now and so not waist any more time on him.
Oh how I love that furry headgear. This is an even bigger turn-on than the panda head.

Comment by Huff

I know right?! Being a bear suits me even MORE than being a panda!!

Hope you’re doing well Dragon Man!

Comment by Lucy Blake

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