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Well it’s 3.30am and I STILL CAN’T SLEEP! Sooo I thought I should give you all a Ginger Minja update. Yerrrs that’s right I decided on a name and thank you to all the lovely boys who made suggestions. I chose that one because it sounded all ninja and scary dangerous like a super villain bagina. I was going to call it Saffron Patch after the boy who asked me to farm it, but he’s disappeared (how rude!).
So to the adventures of the Ginger Minja!…
Well Ginger was getting a little wild and messy looking a.k.a UGLY. So I consulted the boy who asked me to grow it and he agreed slight pruning and a general spruce up would be acceptable to a red hair fetish boy. With an agreed upon course of action I went to fussy up my bagina.
Off to the beautician.. I always go to the Asian places for waxing and manicures/pedicures because I think they’re gorgeous and funny and I like to support their businesses.
Into the room and off with the pants and knickers and up onto the table. I had a pretty full on disagreement with the lady because she believed just having a prune was unacceptable and I should walk away with no fur at all, but she was prepared to give me a landing strip. I told her to leave the fur alone on the top and just take it off the sides where the naughty gash bit is (aargh can’t believe I referred to my bagina as a gash). After 10 minutes of fighting, she agreed to leave the fur alone and only take off the gash bits (gash again!).
Things progress nicely with the appropriate pain in the appropriate places. She has the shits with me because I won’t let her take it all off and is giving me the sulking silent treatment. Now it’s not a good idea to have a Vietnamese woman armed and dangerous inflicting pain on you so I tried to make friends. I told her I agreed no fur is the optimum result for bagina’s BUT that I had a husband who thinks red hair on a bagina is lovely so I decided to give him a furry bagina as a Christmas present and if I didn’t spend money on a present for him, then he’d have more money to spend on a diamond for me! She stopped mid rip of the wax and looked at me like I was a moron. It took me 5 whole minutes to convince her that a furry red bagina was a good gift to give husbands but she bought it eventually – then she thought I was a spastic and paid out on me for the rest of the time.
Next thing I know she has plastered my bagina where I told her not to with WAX! I jumped up and she said “noooo you stay you stay I fix husbands present”. Then RIIIIIIIP RIIIIIIIIP she did it! She wrecked the Ginger Minja!
So this is the current state of the Ninja Minja 😦 wrecked 😦 but I’m keeping it because boys think it’s cute still 😉
She then told me to have a look and raved about how awesome it looked and how my husband is going to buy me a HUGE diamond for it. Doubt it… I was glad I told her a lie at this stage whereas before I was feeling guilty – what was I suppose to say “I’m a hooker and there’s a pube fantasy for boys who like redheads so I need to just take a bit off the edges of the pubes for them”? Noooo I don’t think so! So I lied and told her it was for my husband (which I don’t technically have).
Then she went to work on my eyebrows. While doing my eyebrows we bitched about her husband and discussed the years of training she had put into him to make him the outstanding man he is today (he doesn’t buy her diamonds but). Then we discussed her kids (she has a 15 year old teenage girl who refuses to come out of her room or talk to her so she’s really worried – I told her teenagers are revolting and her behavior indicates she is a normal well adjusted teenager exhibiting typical adolescent behavior). Then we talked about my husband and I talked about how annoying he is and how he better be grateful for my fur patch.
Next thing I know she grabs my hand and pulls my arm up above my head. I thought she was going to give me a hand massage because she normally does that. Next thing I know she’s smearing wax under my arm pit. I screamed (literally) “noooooo no extras” and she said “no extra it’s free. I show you how good it looks”. Well to late now I thought and let her continue her incessant smearing.
Next thing I know she rips the wax off with glee and then shoves the ripped off wax in my face to show me how much she got out. Greeeeeat I thought… I’ve just discovered new realms of pain so this chick can bask in the glory! I asked her if she ever considered being a Mistress now I felt we were bonded over pain so didn’t mind coming out of the closet as a hooker. She said “noooo I have husband”. Hmmm language barrier I read about on forums – what do the boys do?… hmmm ignore it, so I did.
Next thing she asks me if I want the other arm done. Well of course I do or I’ll walk around lop sided! So she waxes it, showing me the wax with each rip. Great.
Then it was all done. Getting your under arms waxed isn’t so bad – it hurts exactly the same amount as getting your bagina waxed. Strangely though it doesn’t feel as good – misplaced pain is strange and not as satisfying.
I then go to pay and I’m told I have to pay for the under arm wax. When I said to the woman “she said it wasn’t an extra and was free!”. I was told no, not free, I pay now. I asked to speak to the Mamasan because I wanted to discuss the concept of extras, how and when they should be negotiated, but she looked at me like I was a goose, so no I couldn’t talk to the Mamasan (works for boys in brothels humph).
So I am quite disgusted with myself. I fell for all the tricks the noob boys do when they visit 12 Bellevue Street and the other establishments! I left with my wallet lighter, the service I received was not what was negotiated, I was charged a ridiculous amount for an extra I was told I would not be charged for. Bloody amateur.
So the Ginger Minja is still in tact, but a shadow of it’s former self 😦 Still my husband will be pleased and I look forward to receiving my HUGE diamond.
ps. this is the evil chaos, havoc, destruction and mess the Ginger Minja left behind – the only real satisfaction I got from the whole experience
ps again. if you have to put a latex catsuit on and spend 4 hours sweating, I DO NOT recommend getting your under arms, legs or bagina waxed before you put latex on … can I here an OUCHY RASH?!?!?!
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