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Well last week was a great week!
Miss Georgia came to visit and I got to sleep in the bear den and we ate pancakes and we were silly and she stole me a prize and and ummmm… oh yerrr the dental dam incident.
I’m to scattered to write to much because I haven’t slept for a while again, but I’ll give you some pictures…. hmm maybe the embarassing ones because I like it when people are paying out on me – it’s therapeutic pain like getting waxed.
Hmm then again they’re pretty bloody terrible so maybe I shouldn’t… aargh I’ll have to upgrade my blog to an X rated blog. Frig where do I find that button? mmmm
So to the story (because there’s always a story). Georgia came to visit to help me with straight job stuff because she has certain skills I don’t have (and I’m not just talking a double jointed tongue! You should see what she can do to a knife, or a fork, or the freakiest is a cup of coffee – I don’t let her show her tongue around me because it freaks me out).
So part of what I have to do is make a fact sheet on how to use Dental Dams. I had been avoiding taking these pics for months now and not because of the horror of seeing the end product, but because I just couldn’t be bothered to take my clothes off. I have a few people who could take them and they thought it would be hilarious and were looking forward to it, but I couldn’t be bothered. The only person who is absolutely horrified of taking pics for me is Miss Georgia (how come you have always said no to taking pics for me Miss Georgia? ok don’t answer that).
So we took the pics. We began with taking one of me in my g-string because we were trying to make them as authentic and as instructural as we could…. god this is ugly… EVERYONE SQUINT!
How totally GROSS IS THAT?! Looks like I have a massive pair of diseased bollocks! aaargh and then all that fat chump lolling about on the bed. Horror of horrors. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!…..
Needless to say I got dressed and put my trusty welfare worker cargo pants back on and I didn’t even have to hear Georgia screaming at me in horror to do it. Actually I believe she was thinking it was all too hilarious for words at this stage.
This is the picture we took to replace it – I must admit if it didn’t look so ridiculous, I’d be way impressed with my yoga moves
Gaawd I’m so erotic!
Next we took the picture of my BIG FAT ARSE!
Look how CHUMPY that is?!? Georgia tried to convince me it is an optical illusion and I have a small butt because a dental dam is only little and if I did have a big bottom, the dental dam wouldn’t emerge out of my naughty bit crack let alone cover that much of my butt. Yerrrrs I’m a believer… NOT!
SO these pictures will be around for the next 10 years or so and then they’ll make new fact sheets and someone elses butt will be in them. Next week I’m ordering 10 000 of these fact sheets to be printed and they will be distributed throughout Queensland… HOW COOL IS THAT?!?! NOT! Blimey the horror for the people who are going to see them – will put people off breakfast worse than the STI fact sheets with the pictures of drippy naughty bits on them.
Bugger bugger, I have to get up for work soon and I haven’t gone to bed yet. I have to run away, but I’ll come back tomorrow and write another blog with the pics I took of the rest of my Miss Georgia holiday!
Hope you’re all doing super well and I’m sorry if you’re eyeballs are going to be sore for the rest of the day. Hehehe trust me, I’m a girl!
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