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I bet you didn’t know vibrators have a life of their own. In fact they are so self determined they cannot be controlled which is one of the reasons I choose not to carry them in public anymore. In fact it has spurned a noun of it’s own because it causes huge public outcry and embarassment. I dub the…… BratorGate
BratorGate has happened to me on a few occassions when on a dinner booking or catching up with ladies straight after a booking. I’ll be sitting at a table trying to keep my legs crossed, sitingt up straight, acting all Lucy Blake International Elite Escort like (I never believed that marketing myself, so I was never great at pulling it off), when your bag topples over and starts moving side ways across the floor like a King Crab. If you don’t catch it in the first 3 – 5 seconds, without fail your vibrator will vibrate it’s way free and have what looks like an epileptic seizure across the floor. It’s kind of like bagina farts after you’ve been bonked doggie style – no matter how self depricating or silly you try to be to laugh it off, it always remains what it is …. an EMBARASSING BratorGate incident.
Aaargh God and the poor waiter’s face when he stands there looking at your vibrator trying to work out if it’s more polite to pick it up, or leave it and pretend like he never saw it. The horror
Anyhooo the BratorGate strikes again, this time in Germany…
Police discover loud and strange noise is vibrator
A woman in Germany phoned police after hearing “suspicious noises” in her flat, but much to her embarrassment officers found the source was a vibrator.
The noise was so loud and strange, even over the telephone, that police in Bochum in western Germany decided to send a patrol car around to the “scene of the crime”, a police statement said on Friday.
“Daringly, and with the occupier’s permission, one of the officers opened the drawer of a wardrobe where the noise was coming from.
“Underneath some clothes he found a very personal, battery-operated object which had obviously switched itself on… The tenant’s face abruptly changed colour.”
Police then “wished her a nice evening and left”.
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