Lucy Blake's Weblog


Sometimes it’s so boring being a hooker..

Do you ever get the feeling your wasting your time / life? Today I sat and watched Morty the Fly climbing the wall … doing nothing is evil in my opinion so it kills me to spend all day talking to Morty time wasting. The tedium of…

Phone rings… (Smurf ringtone)

Him: “Hi Lucy, what are you doing?”

Lucy: “aaaah watching a fly crawl up the wall”

Him: “oh sounds very horny”

Lucy: “how can I help you?”

Him: “I’m sitting in my bedroom in my red bath robe”

Lucy: “Oh I see. Did you ring to make an appointment”

Him: “I rang because I’m in my red bathrobe in my bedroom”

Lucy: “well Mummy Lucy says get dressed and go outside and get some sunshine”

Lucy: hangs up

… then we (the fly and I) had 4 people call to ask me all manner of “is ya c**t waxed and how much is it worth? I can’t tell because my friend gave me your phone number and I don’t know how to use the internet so can’t see what you look like, how much you charge and what you do”. YAWN!

… La la la la la aaaaa la la lalaa laaaaa (Smurf ring tone)

Lucy: “hello”

Him: “hi is this Lucy”

Lucy: “mostly”

Him: “is your c**t shaved”

Lucy: “no it’s waxed”

Him: “so it’s nice and smooth then?”

Lucy: “that’s why they charge me the big dollars and I pass the expense onto you in my very reasonable rate”

Him: “nice”

Lucy: “only if you smile sweetly”

Him: “so what’s your rate and what do you do”

Lucy: “Well today I’m running a special which means for today my rate is set at a very reasonable rate. It is the very special reasonable rate day. I do all manner of things. Were you after anything in particular?”

Him: “yerr I was told you do fetish?”

Lucy: “yup what is your fetish?”

Him: “I’d like a blow job”

Lucy: “and the fetishy way you’d like that done? As in what’s the fetish element?”

Him: “do you do it without a condom?”

Lucy: “so you want to have sex is that what you’re saying?”

Him: “yes, but my wife wont give me a blow job”

Lucy: “have you tried buying a diamond”

Him: “naaah she aint worth it”

Lucy: “well then buy the diamond, give it to her and think of it as a gift for your penis and putting a dollar value on a blowjob instead of thinking of your wife as a prostitute and putting a dollar value on her”.

Him: “yerrr that’d work”

Lucy: “Anything else darling”

Him: “naaah I’ll buy her some flowers and call you back and let you know how it worked”

Lucy: “splendid darling, have a lovely day”

Him: “yerr thanks Lucy, you have a good one too”

Lucy… AAAARGGGGHHH!

I swear on Morty’s dead little bootie I am getting several recommendations a day from people’s friends none of whom know how to use the internet all inquiring if my poor little bagina has been tortured to bits by the dreaded wax!

Can we say TIME WASTER?! Yup some days the Universe plots and plans to make sure you have a time wastering away kind of day! I had a friend who died a week ago today of cancer and she was only 2 years older than me. She fought to be alive, fought to live life… sitting around not living it… god it drives me nuts with the waste!

Hope yours was betterer!

Lucy

🙂

Lucy Sydney Escort

Lucy special very reasonable rates day!

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3 Comments so far
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Hay Lucy can’t imagine you being bored. You seem to have 5 things in the air at once. Maybe you should enjoy the quite before things get busy again.

Comment by Don

Hi Lucy,
I know that there is no comparison between the things we do in life,Over the last two to three years i have read your blogs and sometimes replied back with criticism.
I do not know on how you would get bored as i remember you are always full of life.

I am sorry to hear about your close friend. How is Chester going at been house/unit trained.
Regards
Col
Merry Christmas

Comment by Col

Dear Lucy

I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but some days are just meant to test You!!

On those days, when every force of the Universe seems to be hell bent on tormenting You, no matter how hard You try nothing, and I mean nothing, is going to go right for You.

The trick here is not to fight it, for how can one person rally against the will of the entire Universe, but to simply lay low until some other poor mug. Has raised the ire of the cosmos and taken the focus off You

Below is a simple test that I complete every morning before I start my day. I encourage You to give it a go….

PJ’s Patented Wire Coat Hanger Test for Cosmic Harmony.
Step One.
Neatly line up 20 -30 Wire Coat Hangers on a rack in a wardrobe. Ensure that none overlap or touch.
Step Two
Close your eyes. Reach into the cupboard with Your left hand and try to remove one Hanger.

You will note that, as if by magic, the neatly lined up Hangers have somehow become entangled and will be damn nearly impossible to separate. The entwined hangers now have the tensile strength equivalent of a Harbor Bridge Pylon, and the only way to separate one is to pull them all out and shake them violently until a weaker one is separated from the herd. No one is really sure how or why this happens , but this entanglement is known as ‘Dry Cleaners Peril’ or the Universal Law of Wire Coat hangers.

Step Three
Replace the Hangers neatly in the wardrobe.

Step Four
Place some trip hazards around you on the floor. Take up an off balance position, and as You start to fall, quickly snake one hand into the ‘robe and grab a Wire Coat Hanger for balance. If the Hangers are knotted together and their combined strength prevents you from overbalancing You are OK to go on with your day. If, on the other hand, one Hanger comes out cleanly and you tumble awkwardly to the floor, it is clear that the Universe is not on Your side this day. I suggest that you turn off the phone, go straight back to bed and do not get out for any reason

Here’s hoping that all of your Hangers are knotted.

PJ

Comment by PJ




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