Lucy Blake's Weblog


Roving hooker thoughts

I just wanted to start by saying PJ thank you so much for your comment on my last blog – you made me laugh and laugh which I certainly needed to do.  Which brings me to needing to say sorry to everyone who has been sending me emails and calling, but I have had the last few weeks off because I’ve been a little bit sick, but I’m all fixed up now so allll good.

So what does a Lucy Blake do when she is out of action? She looks after Chester! Things I have noticed….

  • Chester is a male – the peeeenis kind of gave it away, but male dogs really are male!
  • Chester likes to watch me in the shower – I have to jump out in the middle of the shower, pick him up and turn him upside down to make sure he doesn’t have a boy erection going on because that would be creepy and then he’d have to go and live somewhere else
  • Chester is a slut – Chester LOVES woman, he absolutely cannot help himself, gets himself in serious trouble chasing them, will sacrifice his existence to be able to be in the arms of one (think Tiger Woods)
  • Chester makes me sound like a dorky serial killer – because of his need to flirt with random woman, I walk down the street constantly saying “I’m sorry he likes woman”. I mean that’s not even a serial killer intro, that’s a dorky lesbian serial killer pick up line!
  • Chester LOVES sex workers – I live in an area (for only the next little while) that has a LARGE concentration of sex workers. He sees them walking down the street and does his dorky lesbian serial killer tool B Line towards them. They of course all want to pick him up and squish him feeding his tool ego
  • Chester LOVES brothels – he walks up to all of their doors, plants his arse down, puts his trotters in a snow plough position so you have to drag him along the street giving his butt hole some serious gravel rash issues to move him along. He doesn’t like the male brothel though
  • Chester does not like men at all … period
  • Chesters preference for woman is BBW of a mature age and he likes them looking unfancified. If he was a punter, he would not punt at Stilletoe, he’d be an Amanda Heaven’s kind of dude
  • Chester likes to watch – like the shower thing .. TOTALLY CREEPY!
  • Chester does not listen to me – typical male
  • Chester does this cute thing when he’s in trouble or wants something, but when I’m pissed at him, he does the whole blah blah bored now, blah blah, might chew my arse now blah blah… oh look she’s finished, I’ll look cute again now
  • Chester has to try and piss higher up every wall than any other boy dog that has been there

Things that occur to me while walking Chester….

I walk through this big park that use to be a beat (place where men go to have sex with men in public places) until all of these people got murdered so all the men stopped using it. It’s turning back into a beat which I don’t mind at all, BUT because it’s not an established beat, you don’t know if the guys in the park are there for the beat or there for raping the woman. When I become Premier of NSW (let’s face it, they’re letting any whack job have a go these days), I’m going to legalise sex in public and get Mardi Gras  and Work Cover to regulate beats. Then we will have designated parks woman can walk thru without being scared of the men in it at 2am because they know the guys in the shadows are there to bonk men, not rape woman!

There is this brothel that has this MASSIVE sign above it saying “MOVING BOXES FOR RENT”… tasteless heheee. Every time I see it I think of when I use to work for the massage parlor at Eastwood. It’s on top of the butcher shop and at the stairs you walk up to get in, there is a flag saying “MEAT MARKET”.

There is a high concentration of weirdo’s in 24 hour cafe’s at 3am for sex workers to toy with. I had this massive conversation with this guy who was doing what I thought was Yoga out the front of a cafe while he drank tea. He tried to pat Chester and Chester wasn’t having a bar of that while he was doing yoga so I instructed him to stop. He greeted me with a Vulcan greeting and told me he was not doing yoga he was doing Klingon battle practice patterns. I told him if he was going to spin it to hide the fact he hadn’t come down from the LSD he took 3 years ago, then he should at least get the “Live Long and Prosper” line correct, because it’s not “Peace and Goodwill to All Men”. He was a really interesting guy but! Turns out he didn’t have an issue with LSD from 3 years ago which was stuffing up his Vulcan logic, it’s because he is a Dive Master in Papua New Guinea where they don’t fill the air tanks with the good keep your brain functioning stuff. Well that was his story anyway and he was sticking to it.

Had this big think about sex work. All the street based sex workers know the make and model of Chester. Everyone else guesses the wrong make and model, but the street based girls get it right. Feel ashamed it shocks me everytime and feel sad because they use to have lives. To know the type of dog Chester is, they must have grown up with one… maybe they use to run in the park with one and smooch one and have one when living at home with their parents. Maybe they use to have happy lives without Managers, minders and pimps. Makes me sad they don’t have a Chester anymore, they just have knowledge of what it is to have loved and lost. Anyone who says it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, clearly wasn’t a hooker. Oh gawd how melodramatic of me … vomit

Anyhooo better go and stuff….

Mmwaah!

Lucy

🙂

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