Lucy Blake's Weblog

Trying to be normal AGAIN!

Soooo I’m just back from a ‘dinner party’.  I was soooo excited to go because I have been exploring being ‘normal’. I went to the pub for drinks last night to be normal and tonight I went to normal people’s house for dinner. I think I failed on both trips.

Tonight they all sat there talking about their trips overseas and the ones they are about to take.  Some of them are about to go to America to Las Vegas and New York – I asked if they were going to go to the Bunny Ranch because I have lots of stories about the Bunny Ranch.. but no. I asked which hotels they were staying in because I have stories about dead bodies in ball rooms of hotels – but no. Some other people are going to Thailand and I asked where abouts because I have lots of stories about brothels with a yellow line down the middle of the line up room (if you don’t know what I’m talking about it’s not a bad thing – means you aren’t sufficiently corrupted is all), or I have stories about ping pong balls and how I thought it was such a cool trick I came home and learnt how to do it myself and now I can spurt ping pong balls from my bagina too – but no. I tried to convince the people going to San Francisco to buy me my wet dream electricity box with assortment of electric urethral sounds – but no (apparently that’s not civilised).

So since trying to have conversations didn’t work for me, I decided to roll around the floor with the dog instead – but no. Apparently dogs need to sleep and I am being unfair expecting it to stay awake to grunt with me.  Woofing at the dog to make it woof back  is especially frowned upon.

Then they did the unspeakable… THEY WATCHED TV!!! I was only allowed to talk in the commercials but in the commercials I had nothing to say. I have nothing to say to these people I know really well. Being a hooker has spoilt me for normal people conversation and behaviour.

I have met the most fascinating people with the most fascinating experiences as a hooker. For example.. have you ever spoken to someone who puts cranes together for a living?! The details of cranes are amazing! The lives of people who drive them awesome!  Speaking to people who work in industries who make gazillion dollar deals and the way they make them happen and manipulate governments – people think the government runs countries and comes up with all the dopey ideas.. they don’t! People who work as storemen in big warehouses and the way they operate – a marvel! People who make black holes for a living – WOW!

I can sit in a booking with anyone for 12+ hours and be astounded, fascinated and thoroughly entertained the entire time. I sit with friends or people who are my direct peers and I’m bored shitless. My friends expect me to be all PC and not jump up and down and run around and around. I’m not allowed to sing songs, not allowed to tell stupid knock knock jokes, not allowed to pole dance, not allowed to lick the plate or bowl if I’ve just had souffle, not allowed to do ANYTHING vaguely resembling being a dick.

I suppose it’s always the way though – people are often drawn to what they are not. It’s like twice in my life I have gone out with severely rich men. Say you go and have Sushi – they will want to go and have sushi at the sushi shop with the train going around and around where you have to sit on those uncomfortable stools waiting for a glimpse of salmon. I just sit there begging “can’t we just go to the sushi restaurant where there is no sushi train with proper chairs pleeeeeease?!”, or he decides he wants pizza and you think “woohoooo I’m going to a restaurant for proper pizza!” but no  you end up at the local pizza place where you buy a single slice and eat it sitting on a milk crate by the side of the road. Slumming it to these guys was different and I suppose exciting and for once they were with someone who was with them for themselves rather than there money so that was another novelty unto itself. Yup people love me because they feel like I am out of their experience.. hahaa yerrrr hang out with Lucy if you luuuuurve slumming it! Remind me not to market that!

All I know it’s incredinly sucky if you have met so many amazingly fascinating people as a hooker (and I consider my clients as my friends), you hold all of their memories, all of their experiences, all of these good times and bad, but you can’t share any of it with your real life friends. At the same time they are thier stories, their experiences, their lives so you don’t really fit in with them either. Being a hooker you’re just a keeper of the lives. I think I feel like I’m Borg  – all of these pictures, stories, lives, experiences playing out, but none of it’s real to me it’s all just assimilated info.

I think I’m going to stop trying to be normal. If only the whole world could be that of a hooker. Trippy in the extreme but a place where being silly is celebrated, debauchery is encouraged and difference is the key!

Here’s to living the dream!

Happy sex workers


7 Comments so far
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Hi Lucy,
For some reason, I stopped reading your blogs a while ago and have just redoscovered them and read this piece that you penned in July. It was real cry from the heart and made me sad that you are still going through what my mum used to call weldschmertz or, literally, world pain. Most of us go through this in our teens but then get hardened, disappointed, anaesthetised or whatever and somehow learn to cope.

However, the older I become and I’m 60 now, the more impatient I get with my fellows hollowness and misplaced values. Where is individual compassion, intelligent reasoning and meaning?

Anayway, sorry for rambling on but what I love about you is that you are still searching….



Comment by Ian

Ian you’re lovely 🙂

Thank you for your lovely thoughts. The world never ceases to amaze me both the good and the bad. As long as you keep aware and keep questioning though, you can always find the good and the bits of the bad you can maybe help fix up.


Comment by Lucy Blake

Hi lucy Lunch sound like a great idea just a moment in time to talk to real peple xxx RC

Comment by RAy

Where are you Lucy, I miss your updates ????

Comment by Anonymous

I always thought you (like me) were normal and that every one else was a little weird

Comment by Sandy Crack

Trying to be normal in a mixed up world? Ever noticed at the dinner table with ”normal people” how they always name drop IE top of the range brand names always stay and travel first class.All they are trying to do is to outdo each over. My dad use to say no matter who you are the garbage still has to go out of a night.
One day down the track Lucy we must meet up again even only for sushi OR even a sandwich

Comment by Col

Thank you for sharing. I’ll add salmon sushi to my list of edible Lucy offerings.Just name the restaurant and I’ll be happy to take you next time I’m in Sydney

Comment by Peter.88188

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