Lucy Blake's Weblog


Difference between a straight job and a hooker job!

Gaaawd I hate having a straight job, but I’m so lucky to at the same time.

BLAAARGH the effort is supreme

Every day when I walk home from work I am so manically pissed off, I have to have a phonecall with a friend where we discuss the pros and cons of staying in the straight world. We always come to the same conclusion, that working in a straight job is like working for a brothel ONLY WORSE…  eg.

  1. they don’t pay you enough and some one is always taking half  your cash
  2. you’d never sit on a toilet seat
  3. someone is always screaming at you to hurry up
  4. you always have to leave your workspace tidy because heaven forbid it looks like a brothel (wtf?!?!)
  5. someone is always stealing your stuff – in a straight job it’s your stapler, in a brothel it’s your vibrator
  6. anytime you go to eat, even on the deadest of days,  some client ALWAYS walks through the door
  7. you never get to leave on time and you don’t get paid for overtime
  8. who your friends are is all important – pic the wrong one to double up with and it’ll leave a bad taste in your mouth
  9. your boss is always telling you how lucky you are you work for them, how you owe them everything and it’s not fair the way you act or how you don’t work hard enough
  10. you’re forever apologising yet muttering a**hole under your breath
  11. they have no idea who the real you is
  12. spend all day bent over waiting to get screwed
  13. spend all day watching the clock

BLAAARGH straight jobs = a brothel on steroids – the money. I think having been a sex worker in a brothel is actually good training for having a straight job. If it wasn’t for the fact I have learnt how to suck it all up, take a deep breath and then swallow, I would have cracked long ago!

supreme effort I tells ya!

NOW I’m going to complete my weird arse double existence day and go and get f**ked!

assume the position

assume the position

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