Lucy Blake's Weblog

Swampy – my bestest friend

Hellooo Peoples

I have a question for all you GoogleBugs out there….. I need to know if anyone knows or can find out about snails. Not your average garden variety, I’m talking water snails. Not your average fancy water snail variety you buy in PetShops to eat the boogas off the side of the tank to keep it clean that cost you $15 a pop, I’m talking the one’s they call “pests”.

Seeee I have 3 tribes of snails in my fish tank. It all started once upon a time when 3 years ago. I decided I was awful lonely and I needed a pet. Now I thought a cat would be ideal but thought that would be to lesbian and I know all of those girls who read that dam “Sam in the City” blog in the Sydney Morning Herald have cats and I detest those blog readers/participators with a passion. So I decided to get a fish because they are little and cute and sweet and stuff like me! HA! oh and orange (also like me). Oh and also because boys have a hard enough time explaining why they have my hair on the feet of their socks without having to explain cat fur as well!

So I took myself off to the pet shop. The first fish I adopted was a Siamese Fighting Fish. His name was Barney intially then he became Barney Barnabess Jesus Blake. See Barney had this habit of dieing so everytime he died and I forked him a few times to nudge him awake he was reborn and every newborn needs a name so he kind of accumulated them. I thought he died but one day the electricity man came to switch on my electricity and saw Barney Barnabess and told me how they dont die they just put themselves into a coma. He was a Siamese Fighting Fish breeder – the people you meet! He was a lovely man because he came back with a jar of fish food for my Barney the same afternoon because I was so worried.

Then one day I looked and Barney was growing fur!! The electricity man never said anything about fur, but I thought if it was his usual pracitce to comatose himself, so maybe fur was just another quirk of these fish as well. Turns out it wasn’t a quirk it was a death thing 😦 Then I had to wait a week until I could find a boy to fish poor Barney Barnabess Jesus out for burial. He went into the chocolate box, with a Turkish eye to ward off evil, some lollies in case he got hungry and to buy friends with in heaven. Then he went to the great big ocean at Balmoral Beach one night when I went and launched him like a viking off the end of the pier (I always wanted to attend a viking funeral). Hmm was a tad annoying but because the box wouldnt sink so I had to go get Barney out of the water, open his box and put some rocks in and then re-launch him to get the job done right.

Then I was lonely again Crying

So next I decided to get goldfish because they dont need to be forked to life every month. I got Charlie and Cheesecake the goldfish and Doofus the snail. Cheesecake died rather quickly but Charlie and doofus lived on. I decided to upgrade tanks and got one with a big filter and stuff in it to make sure there was enough oxygen in the water because I was told Cheesecake died from lack of oxygen. Unfortunately Charlie got sucked into the filter and died 😦 So Doofus was in the tank all by his lonesome. Then I moved and I took Doofus with me but then he died as well!! I couldn’t find anyone who would scoop Doofus out for me so his chocolate box took the form of the fish tank. I kind of dont like looking at dead animals so I stopped looking and then one day 6 months later I looked for the first time when I fell off the shelf I was climbing on and hit my head on the tank. Low and behold there was a new snail in it!! I named him Swampy.

I love Swampy. Swampy apparently came in with the plant. They tell you to wash your plant so pest snails dont grow in your tank. Me being me however I dont read instructions so I just bunged the weed in. I didnt think Swampy was a nasty pest, I loved Swampy. Swampy lived in the tank all by his lonesome for 3 months then I decided it had probably been 9 months since he had eaten so I started putting lettuce leaves in the tank. Swampy LOVED lettuce leaves. Soon after putting lettuce leaves in his tank Swampy made Marvin!! Yup snails bonk themselves and make new baby snails!! So Swampy had Marvin!!

Then I moved again and Swampy and Marvin came with me and I decided they should move to a new home as well so I took them out of the tank and put them in a new vase. I then decided to make it look pretty so I put some new plant in. I decided not to wash the plant in case it had more pest snails on it because its not ok to murder the animals. So 3 months later I noticed I had MORE new snails!! There’s probably 20 of them so they are to hard to keep track of with names so I call them “The Crew”.

Now unfortunately Swampy has taken a turn. He is kind of in hibernation mode lieing on his side with all of his pink bits sticking out. A LOVELY boy came over the other night for an adventure and because I was scared Swampy may be dead I made him poke at him with a big spoon. WHile he was poking I got the container ready for his coffin and I lined it with tissues and got my chocolates and lollie snakes ready to put in and then WOOOSHKA Swampy sucked his bits in!! SO it appears Swampy is in hibernation mode not dead! So to the Google question…. is it normal for a pest water snail to decide not to participate for a while and lie on his side and kind of look drunk and/or dead?

I don’t want Swampy to die because Marvin was never my snail so I never really bonded with him. I kind of gave him to someone else and I was just baby sitting him. The Crew is kind of cute but not anywhere near as lovely as Swampy. So if anyone has any snail information I would be very very grateful to know. Hmmm and if Swampy was to die I would like a show of hands of volunteers who will fish him out with the big spoon, put him in the box and help me launch him into the ocean (I’ll buy you an ice cream afterwards but Wink )




ps. thankyou to the lovely lovely man who helped me with Swampy the other night. I know I say “come see Lucy for an adventure” but Im not sure if you knew you’d be dealing with me in full Lucy mode asking you to nudge at my snail with the spoon. It was incredibly sweet of you to be so gentle and loving to Swampy when you didn’t have to be Angel Hahhaaa one of the things I LOVE about men is they are so understanding and seem to have an inbuilt “fix it, deal with it” mode when it comes to woman being confronted with bugs, spiders and dead animals. Men ROCK in a crisis! It’s so incredibly special when someone who is completely self sufficient, self empowered can turn around to someone and say “can you help me Im a girl” and the boy smiles at you and says “of course I can”.


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