Lucy Blake's Weblog

Ooow nooo he’s DEAD!

Oook so I was once upon a time working for an escort agency. Was an expensive escort agency actually – well expensive for me because I kept on getting fined!! So one night the night was dark and stormy – actually it really was!

At this agency you had the choice of driving yourself or being driven by the driver. I always drove myself so I didn’t have to wait around for a driver for hours on end on the foot path. Also drove myself so I didn’t have to wait for hours on end while a driver came to rescue me. Unfortunately for the girl whose client died on her she had to wait for hours on end.


It was the ladies first night working. Yup she was alllll new and so was sent to a booking with a client the agency keeps on books for breaking in new ladies. They are the ones who have been trained to teach you how to put a condom on and how to fill out credit card vouchers and get the imprint by zipping a glass across them.


The client lived on the top floor of an apartment block; she arrived and got dead bolted in. They started doing the deed, were all naked on the bed about to get into the serious action when he DIED. Yup just died. It took her a while to work it out but yup he was cactus. She freaked out and started kicking him about to try and kick him awake but nope…. He was dead L She got her clothes on and ran to the front door but realized it was dead bolted and there was no sign of the key. She decided sitting in the corner of the room freaking out quietly was the best way to handle the situation.


Half an hour later the agency called to find out why she hadn’t done a call in to say she was jumping in the shower. She answered the phone and told them she thinks her client is dead but she couldn’t get out of the unit. The escort agency flew into action!! The golden rule in an escort agency is… when everything turns to pooh call the driver to rescue the situation. Now trouble is there is usually only 1 driver on any given now, driving around 15 girls so if he’s in Palm Beach and you’re in a unit in Mosman you’re going to be waiting a while. On this night the girls was in for a bit of a wait.


Eventually the driver got there and had the girl on the mobile. He told her to check the guys pockets for the key but she refused to go near his clothes so he then instructed her to go and check if all the windows were dead locked. Fortunately for her the bathroom window wasn’t locked. The driver then had to wedge himself between the drain pipe and the corner of the wall and climb up to the window. He got in thru the window and the girl jumped into his arms all hysterical. He went up to the guy and yup he was dead. He went thru his pockets, found the key to the deadbolt, grabbed the girl and they ran away.


They got back to the agency, deposited the girl in the middle of the girls waiting room floor and then they receptionist called an ambulance to the address. The girl sitting on the floor was a peculiar shade of purpley grey and wouldn’t stop shaking. The older escorts took her under their wing but and set about getting her very drunk ASAP and feeding her baked beans. She went from purple grey to purple so I guess it must have worked somewhat.


While we were eating baked beans there was this SCREEEEECH “where’s the f*****ing slip?” I guess they were inconsiderate enough not to bring back the click clack receipt. Oh well next time they’ll know not to forget to make him sign before they leave!!!


I never did see her again after that night. The driver stayed on. He was brilliant. He had a CD in his car we use to play alllllllllll night while driving around Sydney if you were in his car. We’d play that song “don’t worry, be happy” hahah was superb!


There you have it! The client is dead story you’ve all asked me for.







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