Lucy Blake's Weblog

My counsellor fired me for bonking her husband!

My counsellor fired me for bonking her husband!

Sooo I have been visiting a counsellor for 4 sessions or so because Uni (College) was making me go. Apparently telling everyone in your Uni class they are a bunch of morons is not ok so they made me go for 6 sessions (they are morons but! apparently telling your class they are all morons because they’re overly PC and so believe paedophilia is a power issue and that paedophiles should not be incarcerated but left in the community and empowered is a bad thing and I need counselling!!.)

SO I am up to my 5th boring session with a 50 year old woman who wears AWFUL fashion, electric blue eyeliner and has been married for 27 years (she said to me “yerrr I guess I do have the perfect life” pffft). She asked me why I was staring at her boobs today and if I was “homosexual”, so  I lied and said “yup I’m gay” because I didn’t know how to explain to her her fluro pink and green buttons on her beige cardigan over the top of her pink polka dot fleecy top were a car crash and I couldn’t help but stare at them on her chest!

We were also discussing my belief that all men see sex workers and she all of a sudden jumped out of her chair screaming…

“how dare you say my husband and 4 children see prostitutes. They wouldn’t have sex with anyone who sells their body. My husband and I have a wonderful relationship and we talk all the time and he would NEVER buy a girl”.

Hmmm I thought…. maybe I really have bonked her husband!

I have never been a believer in sex workers seeing counsellors until after they exit the industry. Generally because I think it’s a rather dangerous process for a sex worker to bring the brick walls down and discuss their lives when it’s important for us to have them up. That and most counsellors are totally unable to handle our lives and the content of them.

You should have seen her face when I told her about working in a massage parlour with CHicken Man as a parlour regular and how he use to like to bonk live chickens in sessions to climax and you’d see it’s guts flying out of its mouth hitting the wall on the opposite side of the room – seeee only a sex worker didn’t throw up then! My counsellor turned green when I told her that. I made him bring frozen Steggles Chickens when he came to see me as a private worker but…. hmmm and he did pay for all of that animal cruelty in a BIG way. I called the Animal Protection service here and the Police (he discussed a few things that legally needed to be notified but I wont tell you about that because it will make everyone throw up) about him, but they weren’t interested so I felt it was my moral obligation to see him as a private worker after having refused to see him when working in a massage parlour. Think of a sex worker as the Karma Police.

The Salvation Army is God’s Army
Sex workers are Karma’s Army

Anyhooo my counsellor fired me and told me to get out and never ever come back! If I knew all I had to do was tell her I bonked her husband to not have to go anymore, I would have wisened her up in the first session. Ho Hum.




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