Lucy Blake's Weblog

Lucy’s vagina is LASERED!

Yup I am investing in 8 doses of bagina zapping so my bagina hair goes away FOREVER!

Girls are all gettting their bagina’s zapped apparently and I was suckered into it. I went out last week in a particulary BAD mood which is always something Lucy should avoid doing. I was a tad furry so needed waxing and when in a bad mood there is nothing like a bit of pain to make you howl and then feel better. When I got to the beautician however, they told me they now have a lazer to get rid of nasty bagina hair!!

Two things occured to me when she told me. Firstly I asked how much it hurt because I was there specifically for pain – she assured me it would make me yelp. Secondly it occured to me maybe Mr $33million I earn $700 a minute MacBank Boss may like bagina hair so I may be ruining my chances of retiring as his mistress with an Amex and a valium habit. I thought back on SDU as hard as I could trying to remember all the threads/posts ever made on mens preferences re: pubic hair (yuck the term “pubic hair” is so gross).What I could remember is men like it, Trimmed, all bare except a landing strip etc is the way to go. I have always been completely waxed since a boy looked at my unwaxed bagina and said WOOF Dog (yup men can really suck) about 5 years ago, because I think bagina hair is gross and all bare is lovely and clean. When I use to have bagina hair men loved it because it’s strawberry blonde like my hair so I suppose they think it’s a cute novelty event to stumble across it.

I was completely torn! What happens when I stop being a hooker? Will I still hate bagina hair or will I revert back to my knuckle dragging days? What if boys really ONLY like woman with bagina hair?!? Like the old saying goes “men fuck blondes but marry brunettes” (I don’t know what happens to redheads but I should make enquiries since I am one). Maybe the saying goes “men fuck brazilians but make love to fur balls”. What if I ever get pregnant one day and I’m in labour and my bagina is on show for a billion Doctors’ and nurses to see, and they all look at me like Im a sexual devo from hell because I’m 9 months pregnant but still keeping up my brazilian?!?! What if men like brazilians on hookers but not on partner’s?!?! What if being a hairy canary comes back into fashion? My best friend from when I was little had a Portugese mother. Her mother had to draw on her eyebrows everyday because she grew up in a time when people use to pluck the bejeezers out of their eyebrows. Now however it was cool to have eyebrows again so she had to draw hers on! What happens if that happens with bagina’s and mine becomes unsightly and unfashionable?!?

So I resolved it by doing it. My motto in life is “if in doubt just do it” (I dont recommend that for anyone else out there). So first she had to shave my bagina!! My bagina has NEVER been shaved!! I am a complete snob when it comes to my bagina and shaving has never been a concept I thought was acceptable for my bagina. It’s cheap, nasty, tacky and looks ugly when it’s done I think. BUT it had to be done. Was ouchy! Was a dry shave with a nasty razor (didnt have any aloe strips on it). Then they ZAPPED me. Was a complete disappointment – only hurt in two spots and not very much. On the upside, I now know which are the two most sensitive parts on a bagina if I ever need to electrocute one any day (is different spots when waxing).

Now for the last week or so it’s been done it’s been AWFUL! Everytime I take a step it’s a combination of ouchy and itchy. The little hairs are growing back and they stick into my bagina. EVerytime I take a step it makes it itch and ouch at the same time, so I walk along the street going ooooch ouch ooooch ouch! I don’t understand how ANYONE could EVER shave unless it was mandatory. Someone at Uni asked me if I had worms because I kept on squirming in my chair because I’d accidentaly cross my legs which would make it oooochy ouchy!

So my bagina is now officially going to have to be shaved for the next 6 – 8 months because that’s how long it takes for the laser to work. I don’t know how boys tolerate giving a girl a headjob with a shaved bagina – the gravel rash must be intense!! Brings new meaning to the answer I give when someone asks if I allow headjobs… “sure you can give me a headjob if your brave” .. HA!





Lucy's ouchy naughty bits!

Lucy's ouchy naughty bits!


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