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Hellooo everybody! Lucy is back (yup that would be me)! Did you all miss me like I told you too? I’m hoping so (I’m a girl so I like to think men are all tortured over me lol).
Oook so I went away. I had a luuuurvely time. I even managed to make it into that place with all the sex workers – that bar – the BatCave or whatever it’s called… aaargh one sec and I’ll go find it’s name ….. THE BEACH CLUB! Me being me of course didn’t realize I was standing in it until a few hours after I arrived. Yup somehow Lucy managed to make her way to the most loved hooker bar in KL and had no idea she was there (what is it with the lust for Eastern European girls?!?! They’re all tall and skinny like bean poles. Mind you they have very beautiful flawless faces, but there’s nothing to grab onto with them. You’d never be able to peg them into a sex position because there’s nothing to peg them by).
It all began with meeting a lovely boy on the plane. He kidnapped me from the airport and I managed to hitchhike my way in his family’s car to my hotel. Yup I was squished into a minivan thingy with 8 other people all speaking Cantonese simultaneously on their mobiles and to each other. Each person was having 3 different conversations with 3 different people all at once. Got to love the Chinese ‘can do’ ability. They even put my legendary talk too much and to quickly ability to shame.
Oooow and for all those wondering yes I did give up smoking while there!! I got up on my first day and went shopping (of course – oh and someone needs to open a lingerie shop in KL) for Dunkin Donuts. I actually chose my hotel based on proximity to Dunkin Donuts because the plan was to eat a Dunkin Donut every time I felt like a cigarette and IT WORKED!! and I didn’t even get fat because I got to number 11 and got sick so I couldn’t eat anymore!
Oooow and I went and saw the monkey’s at some monkey/temple/to many stairs place. Ooow I have a picture, one sec and I’ll get it. I didn’t like the monkeys because they look like bugs to me. These long lanky arms and boggle eyes – bug like see. Just like a cockroach. BUT then I got to feed the furry bugs and I decided to love them instead. I made a few friends on the stairs before I went up because they were to high so they were frightening so I had to make friends so I could have two people walk behind me to catch me in case I fell down the stairs and two people in front to catch me in case I fell up the stairs and one on either side of me so I had someone to talk to and protect me from the furry bugs. Ooow I have a pic one sec….. She’s my talk friend – she was studying to be a umm tourism person.
Oooow and I bought them all a packet of peanuts as payment for being my friend (bribery is such a dirty word) and one of the catch me if I fall up the stairs friends opened his peanuts and got molested by 50 monkeys – I’ve never heard a boy squeal like a girl before (heheee ok maybe once or twice if I turn up the volts on my box to high). Hmm I don’t have a pic of that but.
Hmmm I fell in the toilet at the monkey place as well. What is it with Asian countries making their toilets a hole in the ground?!? I keep forgetting so I push the door in in a HUGE hurry and run in real quick and then I feel my foots all wet and my heads hurting from falling in the hole and falling forward and smacking my head on the wall. They make you pay to use the toilets in Malaysia as well which is a tad annoying because your always busting and have to rat around for 5 Australian cents!
Hmmm what else? Ooow yes I took a pic of me in a bikini for all the pervey boys out there… once sec and I’ll get it…..ooopsies I lost it sorry but I’ll try and find it tomorrow better. Hmmm but I have another one of monkeys! Look they look like bugs Im telling you…. look at those lanky arms, legs and boggle eyes! BUGS!
What else? Ooow yes I got locked in the toilet of the hotel!! Was embarrassing! Well was for the staff but I found it most rewarding actually. I got a few glasses of mango juice out of it J I was pounding and pounding on the door for aaaaaages and no-one was coming to save me, but then I started singing the Pirate King Song REALLY loud while reading all about Mao (he was an interesting bugger!) and they came to save me after a few chapters.
Ooow and two people tried to rob me! Was a lame effort but and I was having a brain debrief at the time so I was in no mood for shenanigans, so I growled at them and they apologized and ran away. Ooow and two people tried to scam me and I was that impressed with their method and style I told them I was paying them for their performance. They apologized as well – even the criminals in Malaysia are lovely. Everyone there is mainly polite and lovely. It’s just lovely!
My favorite thing about Malaysia besides it being almost hot and humid enough for me is the elevators. Everyone in Malaysia smells nice! Everyone wears fragrance!! SO every time you walk into a lift it smells just fantastic.
Ooow and I loved the Muslim experience. The call to prayer you hear all over the city is such a beautiful song it kind of pulls at your soul somehow. Oh and the ladies all dressed in black with just their eyes showing…. It is such a beautiful concept behind why they wear it and they look so incredibly powerful in so many different ways. Lot’s of people believe it degrades and disempowers woman but I find that hard to agree with.
Most interesting was the westerners in Malaysia. There is no secret westerner nod as you walk past them or no hellooooo. Everyone seems to go out of their way to avoid eye contact at all costs. The Malaysian people all say helloooo every chance they get.
Oh and the shopping experience!! Just before I left I went and saw my first ever financial advisor. He collected my info and said “******* the best thing you could do right now is get married because if you don’t your financial state is terminal” hahahahahaa. The entire time I was shopping his words of wisdom were ringing in my ears “****** for goodness sake, before you come back to shopping Mecca of the Universe get married” hahahaa. The best thing about shopping is there are too many shops so there is never anyone in any of them when you go in. You can go into a Jimmy Choo shoe shop and have 4 assistance on you immediately throwing shoes at you. None of this waiting business! That’s unheard of in a shoe shop! Hmmmm except in Armani. As per usual the shop assistance in their have been to the Universal Armani Shop Assistant Training School and they do nothing but avoid you like the plague with their noses stuck up in the air.
Hmm then again I think the reason the shops are all empty is because Malaysians LOVE food! You go into a massive shopping centre (because they all are) and they are empty. Then you go down to the bottom floor and there are 10 squillion people in it! If you hang out with Malaysians they’re response to everything “we should eat”. If you say ‘what do you want to do now, do you like this dress, what time does the monorail come etc, they always say “let’s eat”. It’s the universal answer to everything and one I quite like actually.
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