Lucy Blake's Weblog

Lucy tries to be normal!

So today I went and met a careers coach/advisor type person. It was AAAAARGH! It all started with a very lovely Big Shot I know having a chat. I kind of annoy and nag him about certain issues he sooks about, and he nags me about certain issues I have. We identified I need to go and see a careers advisor because my time in this industry is coming to an end. So a good one was located and a phone call was made. Time and place of meeting was set (not before I got in trouble off the advisor for having an inappropriate email address. She said it was silly and unprofessional but I couldn’t very well give her my professional email address: and . They are a little TOO professional!).


I reported back to my Big Shot and he asked where the meeting was to be held. He thought it was HILARIOUS  I was to meet the advisor in the lobby of a 5 Star Hotel I have been known to frequent often. Yup Lucy the hooker going to meet her careers advisor in the lobby of a hotel she works at. GREAAAAT! I had to meet her in the bar where all the business men sit with a book and a glass of wine after work to watch all the hookers walking thru the hotel to bookings. It’s kind of like a sport and a very entertaining way to wile away the hours if you’re a business man. It’s a very well placed bar that the guys get a VERY good look at you as you walk towards them because the lifts are right next to the bar. NIGHTMARE!


Then I was freaking out about what I was going to wear. He suggested a suit but I can’t wear a suit because my suits make me look… ummmm…. Like a hooker! You know those women at work who power dress and wear those suits that make them look so edgy in a sexy way that it’s inappropriate for the work place? I only own them and it is hooker’s clothes and I am not wearing a hooker suit into the lobby of a Hotel I work in to meet my careers advisor. I’m totally PARANOID she is going to realize I’m a hooker and would make me to edgy to concentrate.


I’m also completely paranoid about looking vaguely attractive in real life so I wear cargo pants everywhere, no make up, no heels, nothing that makes me look like a hooker. I’m paranoid people will recognize me or see me coming and think “oooow she’s cute, she must be a hooker”. Ridiculous I know but I can’t stand the thought of looking vaguely attractive. It totally FREAKS ME OUT! I suppose over the years you learn to be so discreet you don’t exist in public or anywhere else in life for that matter.


So anyway I see the advisor standing there and she is impeccably dressed in a lovely suit, she is mature and speaks like she has been to finishing school in Switzerland. Just the ultimate in professional. AAAARGH! We have to walk to a table and chair and she walks behind me and AAAARGH she can see my arse wiggling!! She’s going to be able to tell I’m a hooker and I’m not in a suit so I look inappropriate because my jeans are too tight so I look like a hooker! AAARGH NIGHTMARE!


Anyhooo so we are sitting there discussing skiiiing in Aspen (hahaha like I know anything about it but one of the cool things you learn as a sex worker is to talk about anything although it’s not in your experience). Then we discuss my nightmare resume that says things like “sex work, overdose, illicit drug user’s, health promotion, blah blaaah” (I’m a welfare worker in my other life) and how we are going to turn that into something vaguely civilized. Then we discuss networking etc and make a time to start working together – PHEW I MADE IT THRU THE MEETING (and she thinks it’s cute I’ve been a welfare worker which is helpful)!!! AAAAARGH!


Unfortunately I have to lie to her about what I do now which is a complete pain in the butt because I can’t ask her questions I need answering like “what happens if I go to a job interview and the guy interviewing me has been a client? Do I walk out or stay or AAAARGH”?!?!? It’s so annoying that everything you say you have to be on edge that someone may catch you in a lie. It’s also incredibly hard to lie and a real skill which unfortunately I don’t have. Basically the last 3 years of my life has to be a complete lie and hidden at all times. Hahaha the joys of trying to transition not only back to straight life, but a straight life you know nothing about.


The conditioning you get as a sex worker makes it SO HARD to go back to normal life. I am in AWE of any lady who has managed to transition. Hats off to you ladies!


Weeee! (well kind of!)





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