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Sooooo I did a double. Hmm where to start.. I guess at the beginning!
So at 1am I get the call on the bat phone. Boys don’t get thru after a certain time of the evening, but when a fellow lady calls one HAS to answer the phone. I happen to have a serious pancake relationship with this lady as well so I thought it was the call to pancakes that one cannot ignore.
Sooo I’m talking to her on the phone and all of a sudden she says “come and see my lover with me, he is really sweet and you have to be a lesbian with me”. Hmmm right then! Straight away I think.. “hmmm what about the pancakes?!” So I ask her… “can we go for pancakes afterwards?” and she says “of course girl we will have pancakes, strawberry milkshakes and I’m starving too my darling so we will have burgers”. Right I think… this lesbian is on her way! I have a quick chat to the boy, am told I have to be there ASAP and instructions on where I am going are given.
Jump in the shower, straighten the hair and then it hits… FASHION CRISIS!!! I never find it a drama to pick which knickers to put on. I always begin dressing from my lingerie out. Knowing who the lady is and how GORGEOUS she is, I thought “hmmm you HAVE to wear the bling knickers or you’ll be shabby next to her”. Sooo then I put on some of my favourite bling lingerie. Right time to pick a dress….. I decide on a little black number and then run out of my apartment door, call the lift up to my floor, so I can look in the mirrors to see what I look like (I don’t have a mirror in my apartment I can see in because I’m to short to reach the mirror so I have to use the mirrors in the lift). Decide it makes me look fat so I run back in and put another little black number on. Run back out to the lift and decide I look fat again but the dress makes my boobs look HUGE so maybe I could live with it.
Run back in and put my stay ups on but the diamonds on my g-string put a hole in the stockings so on with another pair. I accidentally bought really fine silk stockings which ladder if you breathe on them. Sooo I go thru another 2 pairs before I find a pair that isn’t offended by my breathing. Pack the bag and off into the night.
Get into the lift and I decide I do look fat so race back in and get changed AGAIN! This time the little black number is even SMALLER (hmmm why do girls put on even littler dresses when they think they are fat? Surely you would put on a heshen bag to cover up?!) but it has diamonds on it. Bling always makes me feel better. I decide I can’t decide what to wear so I take a spare bag with another Little Black dress in it and I would think about being fat more on the way to the booking and decide once I get there. Back into the lift, decide I STILL look fat but have to go.
Ipod in ears and we’re WOOOSHKERING!!… I drive to the booking and decide I have to get changed so I turn off the light in my car, get naked and get changed. Decide I look fat again by angling the rear vision mirror around, so get changed again. Decide I look fat again but I’m well annoyed by this stage so I decide to just sit in my car for a while naked until I calm down. Decide to go in naked with only my trench coat on and remember not everyone is as devious as me so I close my eyes and pick up a dress and put it on. Aaaaah done FINALLY. Out of the car and up to the house.
Oooow he’s CUTE! Give him a bit of a snog then I see her! She is standing there prancing around in her lingerie!! She has that perfect caramel perfect skin only someone of her heritage can have. She is wearing white lingerie with a white garter. It’s like BAM! to the senses. Greeeeat I thought… I am sooo not taking my dress off! Then she comes skipping thru the room, jumps into my arms, plants a big kiss on me and says “Luuuuucy girlfriend I am sooo happy to see youuuuu! I’ve missed youuuuuu” (she has been away touring for a few weeks so we haven’t had pancake time for a while). She has this incredibly exotic accent which could be so many different things. All it says to me is puuuurfection!
Soooo who wants to know who it is?!? Anyone guessed yet?
Off to the backyard for some Mojitos… more YUM! Then stuff begins. Whoever would have thought an actual mouth with a beginning, middle and end is a superfluous object. What’s the point in having a holding tank when it’s about wetness and movement from everywhere with each tongue doing its bit to support the other. Quite an interesting sensation to have a three way kiss. Then it’s off with the bras and onto the nipples and breasts. The boy and I had a competition as to who is the best at boobs. The lady is somewhat pre-occupied but I was judging! I decided it was about coverage, nipple attention, slurpy noises made and kissing. Hmmm it’s all over all too soon before I had the chance to excel so next thing I know it’s off the bedroom.
On the way up the stairs I get a look at her PERFECT ARSE! And I do mean PERFECT ARSE!! She is of a nationality that does not have cellulite. Instead they have perfectly curved and rounded bottoms. It’s one of those things you impulsively reach out not just to touch, but lay a kiss on … hmm similar to when you see a breast. You just want to nuzzle and kiss and smooch all over it. It’s moving to quickly but so when I reach out to kiss it, it wiggles away and I fall up the stairs with my tongue licking the carpet.. Hmm mental note to one’s self… “Keep it in your mouth until bottom is captive and cannot escape!”.
Can anyone guess who it is?
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